Wade Wilson (Earth-5029)

"It all started before I was born- No it didn't. It all started when I was only eight years old, my parents and I were walking through an alleyway- I think that's Batman. It all started when a magic gypsy appeared to me in a dream- Please just stop talking. Or was it when those government guys showed up at my door step with a magical cure for my cancer? Now we're gettin' somewhere! How would you know? Trust me I just know. Eh, who really gives a shit about origin stories when you have a couple badass katanas?! I wish I could marry these things. Who says we can't?"

- Deadpool

Deadpool is a genetically altered mercenary who believes he is best friends with Spider-Man.