User blog:NewMU/What have they done to you Spidey?!

Oh hi.

WARNING: There will be a bit of spoilers. And also nerd rage.

So, I've heard that Spider-Man is going to be a super famous billionaire and an international icon in the All-New, All-Different Marvel books.

Okay.........

There are many reasons as to why Spider-Man is my favourite superhero of all time. But the main reason is that he's supposed to be this average guy who selflessly protects his city. Whether he's a high school student, of a college student who also works as a photographer, or a married high school teacher.

He's not supposed to super rich and famous. He is not a playboy billionaire.

But, that's what Slott wants him to be. He wants to portray him as this asshole CEO of Parker Industries who is super duper rich and gets laid every night he's not Spider-Man.

WTF!

The whole point of Peter Parker's character is that he's this normal guy who selflessly protects his city because he feels that he has a responsibility to. He's not this rich playboy asshole who thinks that he is the greatest thing since sliced bread! Is Dan Slott really trying to make him into Tony Stark 2.0 here?!

Well, actually, he isn't, thinking about it.

Do you know who this new Spider-Man reminds me of? Bruce Wayne.

Famous billionaire playboy: CHECK. Owns a famous company: CHECK. Superhero identity based on an animal: CHECK. Owns an *insert animal's name here*mobile: CHECK.

Now what Slott needs to do with him is make him go out at night only, remake his origin so that his uncle was shot by a crook in the middle of an alley when Peter was watching as a young child, have him travel around the world to train to take down criminals (who are a cowardly and superstitious lot), and have him make far less jokes.

He should also start saying "I am vengeance. I am the night. I am Spider-Man"

Why in the hell does Peter have to have a Spider-Mobile? Doesn't he have the ability to, oh I don't know, WEB SWING?! With Batman and his Batmobile, it makes sense, because Batman is just a human without any superpowers whatsoever. Spidey can swing across the city and he has the agility to do so! But hey, Spider-Man isn't enough like Batman if he just has a Spider-Mobile! Let's give him a Spider-Wing, a Spider-Tank, and a Spider-Cycle while we're at it turning Peter Parker into Bruce Wayne!

Even Peter Parker's company becoming worldwide and him going around the world to combat threats and leaving Miles Morales to protect New York City does sound familiar. I wonder what it sounds li...BATMAN INCORPORATRED!!! Oh dear god. It's like when Bruce Wayne's company gets so big that he'd leave Gotham to fight threats from all over the world and leave Dick Grayson to be the main Batman in Gotham.

I know that there are some alternate realities with a rich Spider-Man who's a CEO in it. There's that earth in which he would eventually become the Ghost Spider (hybrid of Spider-Man and Ghost Rider), and I've even made an alternate version of Spider-Man from Earth-99 who is the CEO of Parker Industries (link here). But, here's the thing: Peter Parker being a rich CEO and celebrity belongs in an alternate reality, not in the main reality. Earth-99 will definitely not be one of my main Ultraverse earths. It will just be one of those 'what if' earths. And Peter Parker being a more Batman-like character belongs in a more 'what if' style of environment.

Slott said that this is the Peter that we'd been wanting for years, when we did not say that we want Batman-lite. We wanted an adult, who was happily married with Mary Jane Watson, and may have had Mayday by now, and who had a good job, like say, a high school teacher, but we also wanted him to stay as your average joe type of guy, since that is what makes Peter Parker unique in comparison to rich assholes like Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne.

Admittedly, I don't mind the technological enhancements, and I don't mind the suit itself. Oh sure, it's just his classic costume with parts tweaked here and there, and a glow around his spider symbol. Otherwise, he's just becoming Bruce Wayne/Batman 2.0.

At least Miles and Miguel have competent enough writers to make their stories good.

Plus, Miguel's new suit looks sick.