User blog comment:RoninTheMasterless/The Force Is Calling To Me.../@comment-6548012-20151108225555

The idea of changing an already established universe following your own bases to make it something totally new is, well, not original, but it works, and that's all I need. You've taken cultures that are more obscure to the general public in order to flex the message of your reality, which is a solid point. This idea of a character seeking of redemption after killing someone close is, frankly, pretty overused, but yet I would like to see what you can bring to it, in order to make it somewhat more interesting than what everyone already knows about, because, you write very well, and that's a quality no one can hope to take away from you, but your writing sometimes doesn't help forget that this is something already overexploited. But I'm not giving up on being interested about it, far from that. Though, this character seems like you have more plans for him, than his brother. Which isn't bad, really—to me it looks like he will be more fleshed out, and have more in-depth history than his sibling, and it has the tendency of giving a strong feeling that you may just like him more than Arcann, and that Arcann is more like a diversion from the real message, and having the courage and talent to pull that out is phenomenal, which is an extremely important point for me to consider. Tythos is of course, considerable as a main character of the story, for, well, Earth-86's Themistocles, and the real Themistocles don't seem to prove me wrong—He reminds me a lot of Earth-619's Iosepp, because he matters a lot to you, but in the end, he will just be an important factor for you to exploit, for you to go through the rest of the story he's involved in with ease. And I really like this idea of using a very important character to nothing more than being kind of your machine, it creates a massive parallel between you, the creator, and the puppet, which, yet has no knowledge it is an object of your development. He truly deserve to bear the appellation of ''main character, and I'm really worrying about you giving all-in for him, because less work on him means more development on others, and more development on others means more R&amp;#333;nin. “Satele Shan will be the most noteworthy Jedi of the story,” but is it really the truth? You don't seem to have yet that much of a plan for her, so I feel more like she's either going to have a story very similar to her mainstream counterpart, except with Earth-1313 elements, in which case, there's nothing to say about her, she's here to fill up the holes, or you are keeping your ideas secret to us for now, and in that case, you must be really sure of what you are doing to go this way, and it only gives me more of a reason to encourage you. But just in case it's not going to happen, does that mean the Jedi point of view won't really be explored? I can understand you are more of a Sith-lover, but I also know you are easily capable of coming up with different philosophies in a mere matter, so I think it would be a big mistake to not be reckon with the Force (of science.) I will be fast on that one. Either he's empty, or obscure. I don't seem to fully grasp exactly the concept, nor the context you will use it in, but, I'll let things happen, and just hope for the best, alright?
 * Your notions concerning the Force are very interesting, they seem more like a fix, to me, since the Force already was kinda like Qi, but didn't keep the philosophy behind it, pretty much ditching what was interesting about it. Are you also keeping the whole vital points thing, because it seems out of place in the Star Wars universe, but it could permit a larger lore and the usage of strategical fighting methods.
 * So, you are working on a more realistic approach of the government? Why not be crazy, and make your own specific type of politics, instead of limiting yourself to Earthly culture? That could be interesting to see what you can do with that. Plus, it's not like you're gonna go super mad, and create military, architectural and crafting standards just yet... Or are you?
 * It truly is a shame that we had to wait for Aristotle to have this philosophy, and it's a shame we had to wait for you, to give it some sense and naturalism in the Star Wars Universe. Not in the way one would hope, but one that is equally satisfying.