Kirk Lazarus (Earth-1728)

"Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, Rain Man - looks retarded, acts retarded, not retarded. Counted toothpicks, cheated cars, autistic, sho', not retarded. You got Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump - slow yes, retarded maybe, but he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping pong competition, that ain't retarded. Peter Sellers, Being There - infatile yes, retarded no. You went full retard, man... Never go full retard. You don't buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, I Am Sam - went full retard, went home empty handed."

- - Kirk Lazarus to Jay and Silent Bob

Kirk Lazarus is an Australian method actor, screenwriter, producer, and director, who is perhaps best known for his role in the film Satan's Alley as Father O'Malley, which won him the Academy Award for Best Actor. He is a constant associate and close friend to Jay and Silent Bob.